For the siblings: growing up beside autism

Nana and I are two years apart. He was my first definition of a best friend—the kind of bond you build before you even know what friendship really means. We were inseparable in kindergarten: different classes, sure, but together during every moment that mattered—recess, car park pickup, you name it. Wherever I was, Nana was too. Life was simple, predictable, ours. Until it wasn’t.

When Nana was diagnosed, everything changed. Our routines, our bond—everything we knew was suddenly different. The focus shifted to him, as it needed to. My parents were consumed with understanding his needs, navigating a new world of therapies and specialists. And me? I had to adjust.

This isn’t a story about being forgotten or ignored, because I wasn’t. It’s about something else—the experience of being a sibling when autism becomes part of your family’s story. When most of the love and attention rightly goes to the person diagnosed, we siblings find ourselves figuring out where we fit. And sometimes, that space feels lonely-for me, not entirely because I also have Eben my youngest brother.

But I know there are others like us—siblings navigating the complexities of love, patience, and growth beside autism. We have stories to share, thoughts to express, and sometimes we just need a space to be understood. That’s why I’m writing this—to start a conversation and build a community. A space for siblings to connect, share, vent, or just know they’re not alone. We all need that reminder sometimes.

So, here’s to us, the siblings. This is just the beginning of a place where our voices can be heard. Welcome to the conversation.